


Spit Roast

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Allergies, Crack, M/M, Roasts, Spit roast (not that kind you perverts), spitting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah he got the itch again, dammit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spit Roast

**Author's Note:**

> <3

Kirk had the itch. He had to get to his home. He knew that he would get the itch sometime and had already cleared it with Spock to do the deed when the time came. He made his way to Spock's quarters and let him know the news. 

“You got enough lube, Spock?”

“Sorry, Captain, but I am fresh out of lube. Long night.”

“Dammit, Spock, I am the captain, not the doctor!”

Kirk left and rallied the crew to join him in the conference room. As soon as it was full with a line formed outside he let everyone know what he wanted. 

“Alright, crew, I have a very important task for you. I need to get into the....uh...vents to fix something and can't quite squeeze my body in. What I want you all to do is spit on me to act as a sort of lubricant to make sure that I get in there and get that taken care of before we all...DIE IN A BIG BALL OF FIRE AHHHHHHH!!!!”

Everyone echoed the “AHHHHHH!!” and got right to the spitting. 

Unfortunately, Kirk had a severe allergy to saliva that he did not know about. He was cooked alive in the spit roast to end all spit roasts.


End file.
